A Self Help Desk

Ten Ways to Boost Your Love Life

It’s easy for a relationship to become stale, whether you have been together for one year, ten, or more. If you don’t spend some time and effort overcoming the rough patches that develop in your love life, the romance can leave the relationship indefinitely. Life tends to throw many challenges in our way that can adversely effect our relationships over time. Use the following 10 suggestions to add the spark back to your partnership for good! 




1. Bond over a New Hobby

Try something new that interests you both to excite one another again and regain closeness. 

If you’re used to going to the same restaurant, try a different place and new type of food. It doesn’t matter whether it’s ethnic or local cuisine, as long as it is something you haven’t experienced together before. 

Romantic ideas: Eat at a restaurant that requires you to eat with your hands; Moroccan for example and share food (this can also work a home with a meal you’ve prepared).  Go on a romantic picnic by the lake; or introduce your partner to an activity like salsa dancing or seeing live blues music that you used to love but haven’t done for awhile. 

2. Spice Up Your Sex Life

Focus on bringing something new to your love life—candles, more foreplay, a heightened sense of touch that your partner will become aroused by.

An exciting sex life starts with variety and spontaneity, and then keeping up that spontaneity over time. 

Focus on what makes your partner happy and satisfied, and look for opportunities to flatter and compliment before getting into the sexual act.  

3. Show You Care with the Small Things

Think about any little things that your partner may love and surprise her or him—getting him tickets to the ball game, delivering her favorite cupcake to her at work, surprising each other with a romantic night away, etc. 

Give each other love notes that are short and sweet and symbolic of how much you love and think about each other throughout the day. 

4. Reinvent Date Night

Be spontaneous! Focus on making date night all about your partner and take romance to a new level. 

Send a text message to your partner saying you’ll pick her/him up right after work. Focus on flowers and flattery—book a reservation at her favorite restaurant, feed each other dessert, etc. 

5. Be Specific and Clear about What Turns You On

Over time, our tastes change—which means your partner’s tastes change too! 

Focus on treating each other as if you just met. Ask what your partner likes and doesn’t like, and what excites her/him! 

Be honest with your partner—does each kiss still excite you, or do you need him/her to be more passionate about it? 

Use body language and “lip language”—show your partner (without saying a word) what you like. Which makes it easier for your partner to replicate it!

6. Flirt Like You’re a Teenager

Got butterflies in your stomach? Get back that excited, over-the-top feeling by flirting with one another again. Use sexy text messages to get your point across when you’re not together, and apply lip locks when you’re together again. 

Use conversations with double meanings—“This food is pretty hot. You know, I know something else that’s hot too …” and stare right into his eyes! 

7. Talk about Your Future

Don’t let dreams die just because you think you know everything that there is to know about your partner—focus on communicating dreams of your future! 

Together, create a vision board of everything you want to see—places around the world, the dream home you have in mind, what you want your family to experience together, etc. 

8. Plan an Exciting Weekend Away

Romance can be as easy as a change of scenery—focus on planning a trip to a destination that is quiet and away from your busy life. 

Turn off the TV and cellphone and leave the laptop and iPad at home—no interruptions allowed!

9. Have Spontaneous Sex (More Often)

Read up on some positions you’ve never tried, and then go for it. 

Have sex in different locations. Are you a risk taker or a bit more reserved? Have sex outdoors (if that excites you and your partner), or keep it indoors, but try different rooms in the house! 

10. Surprise Him/Her at Work

Bringing her flowers or her favorite restaurant’s take-out is a guaranteed sweet move to make—if you can’t remember the last time you’ve done this, it’s been too long. 

Stop by just to give your partner a smile and a kiss. Remind him how crazy you are for him and that you just wanted to take some time out of your day to remind him in person. 


When you spend time flirting, acting romantic through small gestures of appreciation and focusing on the small things that make your partner happy, the spark you’ve been missing from your love life can show back up in an instant.

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